After 6 years of being away from home, coming home should give me a sense of comfort and to feel loved by my family. While the love is felt, the comfort seems far fetched from the live I have lived being away from home.
A typical day alone would involve a quick breakfast with a hot cup of coffee, work at the hospital, endless assignments, conferences and reports, followed by a quick lunch at home or at the beaten up looking stalls by the roadside. The evenings would be filled with reading or on calls at the hospital and more coffee, with a maybe or maybe not supper. The mundane routine I once wished would come to an end, is somewhat missed today. It was the only time I had time to myself. A short 30 minutes of drinking coffee alone would allow my mind to drift and think of the things that made me happy or sad, my goals, my to-do list, my work progress, etc. I could manage a 15 minutes break from the hectic life of a third world country, while sitting in one of their busiest transport vehicles on my way back home from the hospital or vice versa.
Today at home, in a well developing country, as I sat down to take a 5 minutes break, I realized I hadn't had much time to be with myself. Life can be filled with endless family activities at home that we forget to spare a few minutes for ourselves everyday just to clear our minds of every thought and think of ourselves for a change. While I had many plans of the things that I would do when I'm back home, nothing has even come close to a start. The change of routine has put my life at a halt, while I try to make those at home happy. Living with your family can be hard after living alone for many years. I will need to adjust to their way of living, their routines, their likes and dislikes. It is no doubt that their routines will collide with mine, but should I blame the inevitable change for the ruins that may befall upon me or should I rise to the simple realization that a change has taken place and I must adjust myself, to make my time here at home even more efficient than when I lived alone?
Taking on the latter option, I am learning to be more patient and relaxed than a former 'me' was. Staying alone has allowed me all the freedom in doing things the way I deemed was right and comfortable, however, this will now have to be different. This change is not easy, but necessary.
