What the new year means to me..

A new year can mean a lot to many people, which is why Hallmark pays their employees a handsome amount of money to come up with the simplest words to describe how one would feel about the new year or rather to help those in need of a line or two to wish their friends and family well (because coming up with the words "Happy New Year, May God Bless you", takes a genius with a good paying salary). I've always been under the impression that New Years Eve (NYE) was a day one should never celebrate alone. This year however was different for me. I tried to remember the NYE celebrations I've had in the past and tried to remember how I felt on all those occasions (I've got a pretty good memory!). And at all the times (at various places/countries), I remember always feeling the same way... LOST!

Why was I lost? I always wondered if what I was doing in life was the right thing. Sometimes I'd wonder why we had to do any of those things we were doing, be it studying, working, hanging out with family, friends. Why is it that we do these things? Then I start to question my very being and I get so confused and feel so alone. I mean, aren't we all alone on this planet anyway? We find what little comfort in the arms of family and friends, but really, aren't we alone most of the time anyways? If you can't agree with this, then savor this.. when you are reading a book or thinking of something to do, aren't you alone up in your head? We're up in our head or lost in our own thoughts most of the day, so in essence, we're all alone on this planet. So why is it that we 'think' we need others in our lives to conjure up relationships we feel are needed?

Anyhow.. this year I spent NYE completely in undeniably of what laid in front of me. Without the distractions from surroundings, I reminisced on all my goals and what was needed of me to achieve them. After much thought, I came to realize that I too have become a victim of society or the rules made by society. I found myself judging the way I had chosen to live my life alone when I forgot that the very essence of this choice was to enable myself to concentrate on achieving my world's greatest. Soon after I didn't feel bad for myself for spending NYE alone, watching a movie and reading a book. Thereafter I actually felt glad that I had taken some time off to spend with myself in the name of appreciation for all that I've been through.

I do not oppose of the idea of spending NYE or for that matter any holiday with family and friends, rather I feel what we miss most is taking the time off to appreciate ourselves. Who could appreciate ourselves more than us truly?